Internet outraged that 2013 apocalypse doesn’t match original Good Omens novel
Angry fans took to the Internet today in protest after the arrival of the four horsemen of the apocalypse revealed that God had deviated from the original story of their arrival as written in Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett’s novel Good Omens. After the tolling of a great and terrible bell heard all around the globe, the grim spectres heralding the end of all things began a journey around the world, but fans are outraged that they are riding horses and beginning their procession in the Middle East rather than driving motorcycles down an English highway.
"It really just an awful hackjob to the original story," said Markus Blenstoke, 28, of Hamilton, Ontario. "In the book, [the horsemen] were so badass on their bikes, and all the other bikers in England were like, whoa, check out these guys, the apocalypse is pretty cool! I ask you, what biker in their right mind is going to follow some asshole on a horse?"
"I’m not going to go see it," said Shelley Ng, 32, when asked if she would join the hoards waiting for the horsemen to pass through Des Moines, Iowa. "The book was perfect already, and if the producers of this apocalypse aren’t going to do a faithful adaptation of how it went down, I for one am not going to waste my time on it. I can picture a better end of the world in my head than the garbage I saw in the previews for this."
After pictures of the arrival of the horsemen were leaked online on Buzzfeed this morning, showing the destruction of Jerusalem in the wake of their ride, a frenzy arose among fans on Twitter under the hashtag #badomens. The pictures were quickly deconstructed by fans deriding everything from the choice of costume for each horseman to the controversial decision to recast War as a man.
"ppl shuld be furious w elimination of another female charcter" tweeted Twitter user Crowleyismyking21. "another exmple of patriarchy ruining evrything! boycott apocalypse 2013!"
None of the horsemen nor their representatives could be reached for comment, as all reporters approaching the procession have either succumbed to a terrible disease or slaughtered each other in a mass frenzy the likes of which has never before been seen.
Gaiman was also approached for comment on the adaptation of his work with Pratchett, but reporters were rebuffed after he turned into a dark cloud of mist and wafted away into the night.